...following the kiddos everywhere 
...with new baby Brenna
...napping with Gage
...all set up for a tea party with Brenna
I still cant think about it. The putting her down was harder than I thought (and Geromi was the one who was there). I went by early in the day to say my good byes. I thought being in control would help but really it just riddles you with guilt. It is crazy how these sweet lil pets really become human to us. She was our first baby.
A little story...
Geromi always wanted a bulldog. Always... We were not married at the time and I bought her for his Valentines gift, It was our 2nd (had her flown in on Delta from a breeder in Mississipi). In Hawaiian when we were searching names Mckana meant gift, loosely and then she became 'Kana, DH's gift. He actually volunteered to be with and take care of everything. Kana went on a lil trip one time by herself and was missing for 18 hours. I cried hysterically the entire time... was she cold, was she hurt, normal kid stuff. She had just wondered off from the ranch and brought herself home the next day. Geromi knew from that there was no way I could be there. Anyway long story short I really feel like we lost a family member and it stinks.
We knew about 6m ago where this would probably all end but we chose to put her on high dose steriods and let the kids have good memorys with her a little bit longer. They both loved thier 'Nana so.
Kana had just the luck from the start. As a pup she dislocated her shoulder and it would pain her from time to time. When B was 6m old she tore her 1st ACL had surgery and seemed to be better. Bad part was she loved balls, any kind, and so keeping her down was hard. She liked to be air born and somehow we ended up with her 2nd torn ACL when Gage was a baby. In that time her tummy started giving her issues and her skin went from minor allergic to 24/7 physical pain. Her steriods in the end went from 2-3 times a week to maintain to twice a day. Geromi met with her Vet the last day to just know that we were doing everything for her. She had become more unpredicable and more aggressive. The vet couldnt blame it all on the steriods but he said the pain may just be making her tired and short tempered. So, keeping her here as much as we wanted her with us seemed like the selfish thing to do. So, as my wise sis said, letting her go wasnt something we did to her but something we did for her. We let her finally be pain free.
We miss her daily just wanted to share her story. Good night Kana.
4 comments:
I'm so sad for you. I remember when you added Kana to your little family. She was such a cute puppy, with those big paws! Sweet Kana, couldn't have asked for a better family to share life with!
My heart hurts for you. I just cried reading your blog. I so understand that hurt. I agree with what your sister and the vet said but i know that doesn't make it any easier. Sending lots of hugs your way.
I'm so sorry! There is just absolutely nothing like the pain of losing a pet! It's almost enough to make you not want anymore, if it weren't for all the joy they bring! I'll be thinking about you guys!!
oh Nicole, we had to do the same thing with Caesar "Cici" right after we moved here. I know how much you hurt. My eyes are watering as I read this. It takes time but it does get better on a day to day basis.
I remember one of the baby playdates and Sofi, who loves all animals, being scared of Kana and her silly bulldog smile.
Kana was a lucky dog to have lived her life with your family, remember that! Only the best moms will put the 4 legged child's best interest first and that is what you did.
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